As flawed as the NFL may be, you can't say they aren't good at getting into the holiday spirit. Thanksgiving games are a beloved yearly tradition. They've managed not to force 80% of the league to play on Christmas so the players can spend time with their families. They celebrate Labor Day by making us remember why we needed Labor Day in the first place - reckless disregard for the workforce.
But yesterday, the NFL really got into the spirit of the holiday, with many of its players and teams appearing on the field in costume, and we're going to take a look at some of the best of the weekend. Grab some fun size candy bars and let's dive right in.
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It's Monday Morning... What Just Happened
The Jacksonville Jaguars - Sentient Bottles of Mustard
Color Rush jerseys are pretty hit and miss - you get some instant classics like the Chargers' jerseys from their first game against the Broncos, but then you also get some duds. Like these. I feel like the designer of these jerseys was told every single day of his life to shoot for the stars because if you miss you'll land on the moon, but these jerseys don't even come close to the moon. It's more like they had a misfire on the landing pad and exploded before liftoff.
Although I have to give kudos to the Jaguars for really committing to the "inanimate object" part of their costumes and letting the Titans run right past them.
Nick Foles - Frankenstein's Monster
Frankenstein's monster is one of the most famous reanimated corpses in history, and somehow Nick Foles threw two touchdowns yesterday. Which I guess makes the Colts defense slightly less effective than an angry underfed peasant mob.
The Oakland Raiders - The Oakland Raiders
The Raiders had 23 penalties accepted against them in their win against the Buccaneers yesterday, making them the holders of the most fitting NFL record in history. There is no other team that could own "most penalties in a game." Somewhere in the hereafter, Al Davis is smiling.
NFL Running Backs - The Invisible Man (multiple times)
Sunday was not a great day for rushers overall. The Raiders put up 626 yards of total offense against the Buccaneers, but their leading rusher was Latavius Murray - with 48 yards. The Packers and Colts were both led in rushing yards by their quarterbacks. The Seahawks only got 40 yards out of Christine Michael. The Browns managed 68 rushing yards as a team against the Jets. Even Ezekiel Elliott fell short of 100 yards for the first time since September 18. Good thing it's a passing league, huh?
The AFC West - Thunderdome
The AFC West is slowly emerging as the most dangerous division in the NFL. The Raiders and Broncos share the division lead at 6-2, the Chiefs trail only by virtue of having had a bye, and while the Chargers are a game under .500, they've had their fair share of bad breaks and the blistering debut of Joey Bosa has silenced many critics. As it stands right now, the AFC West will send three of its four teams to the playoffs - and the 4-4 Titans are the team closest to dethroning them. The next 9 weeks of football in this division will be a bloodbath.
The NFC East - Also Thunderdome
Well that's gonna make this party pretty awkward. The AFC West has three teams in position for the playoffs, but the NFC East doesn't have a team with a losing record. One of these divisions is going to have to go home and change.
Tom Brady - Any combination of Jesus, Superman, and Gandalf, apparently
There are many ways I don't want to wake up, but receiving the text "Tom Brady is outscoring your entire team lol" is definitely one of the top two. The other is "Alabama and Michigan are #1 and #2 in the AP." My life is an endless waking nightmare. At least it's basketball season! Go Lakers!
In all seriousness, though, who wants to bet on how long it takes for ESPN to write an article about how Tom Brady's tears cancer or something?
Matt Ryan - the best quarterback in the NFL
HE LEADS THE LEAGUE IN FANTASY POINTS. COME AT ME.