You've read about all the sleepers, waiver wire pickups and starter suggestions based on matchups. Now let me burst some bubbles and tell you who I think is going to bust big time in Week 14.
This isn't to troll or spread hate - that's what those political sites are for. Think of this as a public service for fanboys and truth deniers who insist that everything is going to be alright, when it's clearly not. If you don't believe me, just ask the general public on Twitter. They know everything.
Warning: while the picks made in this article are completely serious, you may find sarcastic humor laced throughout. If you don't have any sense of humor whatsoever, turn back now before you get all worked up. Comments, praise, complaints or ramblings can be directed to @pfunk00 on Twitter.
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Week 13 Recap
Andy Dalton ripped up the Eagles, Terrance West scored twice in a game for the second time ever and Kenny Britt scored a garbage time TD so late that the Patriots personnel were already halfway to the locker room. Otherwise, it was a banner week for calling out busts. If not for Britt's last second non-heroics, we would be looking at eight successful bust calls. While many of you have already had it up to here with Allen Robinson and Kelvin Benjamin, if nothing else hopefully I steered you clear of sipping the Kool-Aid on Sammy Watkins or DGB. As always, here's a quick visual representation to help you interpret how successfully last week's projections coincided with estimated value in regard to point totals for fantasy purposes, including, but not limited to, season-long and/or daily leagues.
Andy Dalton (332 YDS, 2 TD, 0 INT)
Terrance West (50 RUSH YDS, 18 REC YDS, 2 TD)
Kenny Britt (2 REC, 67 YDS, 1 "basura" TD)
Jay Ajayi (60 RUSH YDS, 26 REC YDS, 0 TD)
Kelvin Benjamin (2 REC, 18 TDS, 0 TD)
Dorial Green-Beckham (4 REC, 29 YDS, 0 TD)
Will Fuller (5 REC, 59 YDS, 0 TD)
DeSean Jackson (1 REC, 59 YDS, 0 TD)
Allen Robinson (3 REC, 31 YDS, 0 TD)
Sammy Watkins (3 REC, 38 YDS, 0 TD)
The fantasy playoffs begin for many of you this week. The last thing you want is a complete dud dragging down your team when this should be your moment of glory. I promise not to steer you wrong approximately 75% of the time (margin of error plus or minus 25%). I'm here for you!
Top 10 Busts for Week 14
Aaron Rodgers (QB, GB) - For the first time in a while, Rodgers could be considered a risky start. Not only has the Seattle defense shut down opposing QBs all year, they have shut down Rodgers in his career. In six games against the Hawks, Rodgers has thrown six touchdowns and averages 184.3 yards per game. Playing in the snowy conditions at Lambeau won't help either - Rodgers only managed 209 yards and two TD last week against Houston. It would be a tough call to sit him this week, but if you have a quality QB on your bench with higher upside (Dalton, Winston, Cousins) then don't be afraid to make the switch. After all, we never know when Rodgers will be forced to enter the mysterious tent again.
Matt Ryan (QB, ATL) - If you take away the Saints' dismantling of them in order to show up defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, the Rams have actually been tough against quarterbacks recently. In their other four games since the bye, L.A. has surrendered a total of four passing touchdowns. Frankly, game script shouldn't require the Falcons to pass very often anyway. Ryan should put up decent numbers, but not nearly the type of elite stats fantasy owners got used to in the first half of the year. He could be sat in favor of another QB with a higher ceiling if you have that luxury. Unless you consider Ryan an elite QB.
Dak Prescott (QB, DAL) - Prescott, like most mobile quarterbacks, will retain a high enough floor to be worth playing because he always has the ability to make plays with his legs. That said, he also isn't the type of QB that has a lot of designed runs called for him. Prescott's passing numbers are down the last two weeks; he managed just 195 yards with one TD in Week 12 and 139 yards with one TD in Week 13. He salvaged Week 12 with a rushing score, but against Minnesota he letdown his owners. The Giants are statistically identical to Minnesota in fantasy points allowed to QBs, so there is good reason to expect a similar letdown. Remember, when these teams met back in Week 1, Prescott didn't account for a single score and the Cowboys suffered their only loss of the season. Looks like Dak may be playing catch up to Eli Manning this week.
Doug Martin (RB, TB) - Martin has played four games since returning from injury, so we have a large enough sample size to say that his 3.0 Y/A on the season is troubling. He couldn't muster anything on the ground against the Chargers last week (45 yards on 17 rush attempts) and it took him 23 carries to muster 87 yards against Seattle the week before, both season highs. Believe it or not, the Saints are holding opposing runners under four yards per carry and are in the lower half of rushing yards allowed. In a game that could turn into a good old-fashioned shootout, Martin isn't a shoo-in for quality stats. He is a fringe RB2, especially with Jacquizz Rodgers and possibly even Charles Sims back to eat into the backfield snap share.
Jonathan Stewart (RB, CAR) - The Panthers are officially a mess. Any hopes for a late playoff surge were officially dashed as Seattle ran them off the field last week. The Chargers aren't going to do the same (unless Carolina really throws in the towel), but they should limit the running game well enough. In their last five games, San Diego is holding opponents to 87.6 rushing yards per game. Stewart himself is only averaging 51.6 yards per game in his last five. He isn't the type of back who will make up for it in the passing game, so he will be TD-dependent for value. You don't want that from your RB entering the fantasy playoffs. At least you made the playoffs, right? What motivation could Carolina possibly have?
DeVante Parker (WR, MIA) - Parker had a gutsy effort last week, playing through back pain and rising up to make a touchdown grab for the Dolphins' only score of the game. This week, he will have to fight through tight coverage from Patrick Peterson. Parker is still not 100% and the Dolphins' flaws were seriously exposed against a tough defense last week. It won't be much easier in this game against the Cardinals. Parker will be a TD-dependent WR3, unless he and the Fins can pull off a dramatic victory.
Quincy Enunwa (WR, NYJ) - Don't get carried away starting the entire Jets offense simply because they play the Niners. Enunwa was absolutely invisible in the two games Petty started earlier this year. He caught exactly one pass in each game, one for seven yards, the other for 10. There's always the chance he slips free for a big gain, but there is too much risk here at this point in the season. Enunwa isn't a great bet despite the matchup, but at least Jets fans can avoid the pain for one more week.
Rishard Matthews (WR, TEN) - It took a bye week to halt his unexpected run of success. This week, all it will take is the Broncos. Matthews has scored a TD in six of the last eight games, making him a solid WR2 in standard leagues. The Broncos don't care. They have shut down far better receivers this year and should have no trouble keeping Matthews out of the end zone. Other than Week 11 against Indy, Matthews doesn't return enough value on receptions and yardage alone to be worth starting in PPR. Plus, there's the whole jinx thing working against his QB now that the 'stache is gone.
Tyler Lockett (WR, SEA) - Lockett's burst many a fantasy owner's bubble early on. He has endured a season-long slump, disappointing at every turn. Lockett has only exceeded 70 receiving yards twice all year, hasn't caught a touchdown pass all year, and has only exceeded three receptions on three occasions. He came alive last week with a 75 yard rushing score and a punt return for a TD. However, don't jump back on the bandwagon, as the snowy conditions will sap the speedster of his greatest asset. Remember when he was a great value back on draft day? Good times...
Kyle Rudolph (TE, MIN) - If you are a subscriber to the NFL Sunday Ticket, you may want to skip over Channel 711 this weekend. The Vikings-Jaguars game promises to be as unexciting an event you may watch this season. The Vikes are technically still in the playoff hunt, but watching their offense perform last week against Dallas tells you otherwise. The Jags have been uninspiring all year, but they are at least getting better on defense. Jacksonville has held four of their last five opponents under 200 passing yards. They are also one of the better teams defending tight ends. Rudolph is TD-dependent enough as it is, but this week he should absolutely be faded. Much like this whole game.