You've read about all the sleepers, waiver wire pickups and starter suggestions based on matchups. Now let me burst some bubbles and tell you who I think is going to bust big time in Week 11.
This isn't to troll or spread hate - that's what those political sites are for. Think of this as a public service for fanboys and truth deniers who insist that everything is going to be alright, when it's clearly not. If you don't believe me, just ask the general public on Twitter. They know everything.
Warning: while the picks made in this article are completely serious, you may find sarcastic humor laced throughout. If you don't have any sense of humor whatsoever, turn back now before you get all worked up.
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Week 10 Recap
My picks for Week 10 were slightly better than the previous week's predictions, but that's like saying "You know, I don't completely hate that new Justin Bieber song because you can barely tell it's him." While Gronk and C. West fell flat as predicted, Murray and Meredith each turned one fluky play into a long touchdown to salvage otherwise bad days. Both QBs were fairly mediocre, while I continued my streak of being burned by a Jets player (Forte) even in a disappointing season for the team. As a Dolphins fan, this is nothing new. Speaking of painful truths, here's a sliding pain scale to correlate with last week's picks:
Rob Gronkowski (3 REC, 56 YDS, 0 TD, 1 PUNCTURED LUNG)
Charcandrick West (5 RUSH YDS, 5 REC YDS, 0 TD)
Cameron Meredith (1 REC, 50 YDS, 1 HAIL MARY TD)
Blake Bortles (265 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT)
Kirk Cousins (262 YDS, 2 TD, 0 INT)
Matt Forte (98 RUSH YDS, 0 TD)
Cameron Brate (7 REC, 84 YDS, 1 TD)
Willie Snead (5 REC, 47 YDS, 2 TD)
DeMarco Murray (123 RUSH YDS, 1 TD, 2 REC, 33 YDS)
Le'Veon Bell (57 RUSH YDS, 1 TD, 9 REC, 77 YDS, 1 TD)
Another week, another set of picks is in. See if you can deduce which fan base I randomly decide to troll this time. Enjoy!
Top 10 Busts for Week 11
Jared Goff (QB, LA) - It will be an exciting day for Rams fans and all NFL fans as #1 overall pick Jared Goff makes his debut against the Dolphins. Allow me to throw cold water all over that occasion. If you're considering playing him in any format, you either haven't been paying attention since May or are one of the aforementioned Rams fans. Goff couldn't beat out Case Keenum for half the year and is only playing now after a number of riots all around the country against Jeff Fisher (I'm pretty sure that's what those were about). The Dolphins aren't an elite defense by any means, but Cam Wake and Ndamukong Suh alone are enough to scare any rookie. Still, we should be happy for Goff finally getting the chance to accomplish something.
Sam Bradford (QB, MIN) - Bradford isn't starting for anyone in one-quarterback leagues these days, but he might not be worth starting in two-QB leagues this week either. Arizona still has one of the top secondaries around, limited passers to a 6/9 TD/INT ratio this season. Bradford did throw for 307 yards and a pair of scores last week, but keep in mind it was his first 300 yard game of the entire season and he hasn't thrown for three TD in a game yet. It's unlikely that the Cardinals defense will be in panic mode this Sunday once the Vikes take the field.
Carson Wentz (QB, PHI) - The early season magic is gone. Wentz had a 7/1 TD/INT rate in his first four games. That figure has changed to a 2/4 TD/INT rate the last four games. The Eagles are wisely emphasizing the run in order to alleviate pressure from the rookie QB, which also serves to limit his ceiling. Wentz could only muster 231 yards against a hurting Falcons secondary, so one can only imagine how ugly the numbers might be in the home of the 12th man. A better supporting cast might help, but it's a bit late for that. (Apologies if the following tweet makes no sense, but it was really funny at 1 a.m.)
Paul Perkins (RB, NYG) - Picking against Giants players doesn't go over too well with the general public, so let's do it again! Perkins is on the radar of some analysts due to an increased snap count and, to some extent, because he plays in New York. More playing time has not resulted in more production, however. Perkins managed 31 rushing yards last week and 32 the week before, which is his season-high total. Talk of being a PPR value is overblown too - he hasn't seen more than three targets in a game yet. He could very well experience a Tevin Coleman-like breakout next season, but he hasn't shown he even belongs on fantasy rosters in 2016. By the way, Rashad Jennings and his 87 yards from last week demand an apology, Giants fans.
Carlos Hyde (RB, SF) - He's healthy enough to start again, but that shouldn't excite fantasy owners too much. Hyde produced 14 yards on 13 carries last week in his first action since Week 6. The truth is that Hyde is averaging 3.6 yards per carry on the season and hasn't reached the end zone since Week 5, partly due to injury. Only five teams have surrendered fewer rushing yards than New England, who have only allowed four rushing touchdowns as well. His brief stint as an RB1 early this year may be gone, but at least it appears Hyde himself has a good perspective on things.
Jarvis Landry (WR, MIA) - The new Dolphins are winning, but it has come at the expense of the passing game. Landry has suffered the most, at least from a fantasy standpoint. He is still the undisputed WR1 on the team and the only Dolphins receiver worth playing, but he has been no more than a fantasy WR3 the last month and a half. In the last five games, Landry is averaging five receptions and 56.6 yards per game with zero touchdowns in that span. The Rams have a bend-not-break defense that should keep Landry below his ceiling once again. This season has served as a reminder that despite the many similarities, Landry is no OBJ. Then again, I think OBJ got more write-in votes last week than Bernie Sanders in the greater New York area.
Doug Baldwin (WR, SEA) - He is undeniably Russell Wilson's top target, but he gets a tough draw against Malcolm Jenkins in Week 11. Baldwin has gone for 16 catches, 199 yards and three TD the last three weeks, so his value will likely be inflated this week anyway. You should still be starting him in standard leagues, but consider fading him in DFS for the week. Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the biggest Baldwin fans out there. Just not THE biggest.
Jordy Nelson (WR, GB) - Much to the disappointment of Giants fans, Josh Norman has not proven to be massively overrated this season. This week, White Lightning himself (Jordy Nelson) will draw coverage from Norman. It would be impossible to recommend benching Nelson while he is on a three game scoring streak with 94 yards or more in each, but he should definitely be faded in daily games. Besides, the way Norman is talking as of late, Jordy may not want to get too close.
Jason Witten (TE, DAL) - Tony Romo's buddy has been doing just fine without his QB this season. Witten is experiencing a renaissance with 44 catches and 483 yards, good for third and sixth in the league respectively. He probably won't be worth starting this week, however. The Ravens are second-toughest against the tight end, allowing just 3.8 fantasy PPG to the position. If Romo were back, he'd still be targeting Witten like crazy though. The bromance is real...
Amari Cooper (WR, OAK) - Cooper is finally living up to the hype that was set off by his successful rookie season. After a slow start, he is now up to third in the league with 843 receiving yards. Yet, he may be shut down by a third-year starter at CB in Houston. A.J. Bouye is the top-rated corner in ProFootballFocus' positional rankings this season. His counterpart Jonathan Joseph is no slouch either. Cooper could put up similar numbers to his six catch, 56 yard performance against the Broncos, which won't be enough to satisfy fantasy owners. Plus, this game is being played out of the country, which potentially brings a host of unforeseen variables.