February 19, 2016

Alex Brock looks back at the career of defensive end Jared Allen, one of the NFL's premier characters and pass rushers, as he rides off into retirement.

After 12 extravagant seasons anchoring the defensive line of four NFL franchises, Jared Allen announced his retirement from professional football by riding off into the sunset on the back of a black mare. One of the league's most flamboyant players over the past decade, Allen will be remembered for a variety of reasons. He's the class clown in high school who makes fart noises during lectures, whips your bare behind with a wet towel in the locker room, and insists on wearing the #69 for whichever team he plays. At least one of those attributes can be factually supported.

Above all, Jared Allen should be remembered as a fantastic football player. Despite being drafted in the fourth round of the 2004 draft by the Kansas City Chiefs from small-ball college Idaho State, Allen quickly proved his worth as an NFL pass rusher and finished his illustrious career with 136 sacks (good for 9th all-time, tied with former Chicago Bears teammate Julius Peppers) and 32 forced fumbles. Twice he lead the league in sacks with 15.5 in 2007 as a Chief and 22.0 as a Viking in 2011, just a half-sack behind Michael Strahan's single-season record of 22.5.

Perhaps what's so striking about Allen's career is that he was not Michael Strahan. He did not have the technical sophistication of other great pass rushers, nor the size and speed. Jared Allen reached his target through a combination of grit, hunger and relentlessness. He was not the guy who hit the quarterback within two seconds of the ball being snapped - He was the guy who chased the quarterback in circles until the whistle was blown, clawing his way out from beneath dogpiles to swat at the ball carrier's ankles, snarling all the way.

As a lifelong Packers fan, I have very mixed feelings about the former Vikings and Bears juggernaut. Allen arrived to the NFC North in 2008, the same year that Brett Favre took off for New York. He wound up being Aaron Rodgers' worst nightmare in the coming years. Over the course of his career, Allen sacked Rodgers 15.5 times in 13 games, by far his most sacked opponent, including 4.5 sacks in one Monday night. The worst part of that game, which I remember clearly, was Brett Favre tearing apart the defense on the other end. My disgust for Allen in those years was tantamount to the way Jack Parkman's signature shimmy made the ladies in Cleveland feel in Major League II.

There was also something irresistibly charming about him. I still remember the segments at the start of the game when Allen would announce his alma mater as the Culinary Academy. For a long time, I honestly thought he was telling the truth. Plenty of football players like to herald themselves as pranksters, but Allen lived up to the persona more than any in recent memory. Pranks almost derailed his career in high school when he was forced to transfer due to an expulsion for allegedly stealing yearbooks. He famously dared a woman at a Kansas City bar to pour Tabasco in her eyes in exchange for two game tickets, only to completely forget about the deal later that week and face her fury when she appeared at his radio show with red, swollen eyes. Allen's career even extended to the big screen with his appearance in Jackass 3, during which Allen demolishes a defenseless Johnny Knoxville on two separate occasions.

As former Chiefs GM Carl Peterson phrased it, "[Jared Allen] was a true Cowboy from Idaho." Bad decisions came hand-in-hand with the good times, as Allen was arrested for DUI on three instances ranging from his college career to his time with the Chiefs. But none of the off-field problems seemed to affect Allen. Announcing his retirement with a notably corny cliché represents the inner kid that never fully grew up. For better or worse, Jared Allen is the human embodiment of boys will be boys.

Whether his career will manifest into Hall of Fame recognition remains to be seen. From a numbers standpoint, Allen certainly deserves strong consideration. However, similar to 2016 HOF snub Terrell Owens, Allen will be remembered for much more than his statistics. To NFL observers, he will be the grizzly showboat with eternally offensive facial hair. To Packers fans, he will be the pesky kryptonite to Aaron Rodgers, as well as (in a sense) the eventual prototype for Clay Matthews. In all likelihood, Jared Allen cares little about his public perception. He just likes to be seen: Whether he is seen as a hero or a villain is of little importance.

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